ElonLive.com »That Damn Train

 

 

 

Yes. That damn train. You know - the one that thunders through campus at all hours, shaking your bed, waking up whoever it is that may have come home with you.

There really is no guide to dealing with the train. You get used to it after a while. If you live in HBB, your acclimation period is a little longer. We do however know of some fun that can be had with the train. In previous years, Elon has distributed a mass quantity of community bikes for the Ride, Rack, and Relax program. The majority of these bikes eventually end up at the bottom of Lake Mary Nell or Lake Verona, because what better way to show of your machismo than to ride a bike home from the bar balancing someone on the handle bars, then ghost ride the thing into a fungus infected lake.  (Ghost riding, for those of you who missed your childhood, is riding fast then standing up and letting the bike keepWe still play with them... going in front of you.) However, some of these bikes made it onto the train tracks. You may have read about it in one of Dean Smith Jackson’s safety e-mails. Apparently a six pound bike poses a derailment risk to an 8000 ton train. (They do fly about 35 feet) Interesting, but not useful since Elon got smart and no longer gives out bikes as a form of public transportation.

We have found that the train is best used as an excuse for why you were late to class. The freight company does not make times easy to find, but Amtrak does. (We don’t know why. No one takes the train anymore.)

We get trains daily between:

11:55pm - 12:15am
3:45am - 4:10am
8:11am - 8:35am
9:21am - 9:43am
6:00pm – 6:30pm
7:00pm-7:30pm

 

Plan accordingly.

 

Note: Do not flick off the conductor when he blows the horn in front of your house. They have a long memory, and nothing to do but lay on that horn every time they pass by.

We apologize for the pessimism. We hate that damn train.

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